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When Relationships Matter to You Most

May 29, 2015

We’re not quite into the summer season yet, but friends have started going to the shore, the Mister Softee truck is singing its siren's song all over West Philly, and soon the heat of summer will be searing us all. In the Chinese calendar, we’re moving into the season of the Fire element, the time of year that governs the Heart, and relationships. In summer, we savor the most light, the most warmth, the longest days, and the greatest opportunity to connect and to receive love, care, and affection from those we treasure most.  

 

Last weekend I was a simultaneous guest and impromptu photographer’s assistant at my ex-boyfriend Brian’s wedding. My current boyfriend Hanbit was their wedding photographer, so I was helping Hanbit throughout the day. Mostly this meant holding stuff for him and carrying cameras, but this also meant that there were times during the wedding that I got to (literally) hold the light for Brian and his bride Kate.  

 

While I know it's not typical to be anywhere near your ex-boyfriend's wedding, Brian and I broke up 7 years ago, had a long time of no contact, then ended up living near each other for the past few years. If Brian had invited me to his wedding 6 months or even the first few years after we broke up, I would have been pissed and would have run screaming. But 7 years later, I was happy to share their joy, to reconnect with friends and colleagues of Brian's whom I had not seen in at least 9 years.

 

The “virtue” of the Fire element, and the highest goal of this element related to relationships, is “maturity.” Maturity requires us to really know and to honor what is in our heart. In my heart, on Kate and Brian's wedding day, apart from a tiny shred of completely misfounded worry about how his friends and family would receive me after not seeing them for years and years, was peacefulness and joy, gratitude that they discovered each other. Kate and Brian are very different people, but are perfectly aligned around the same core values and desires.

 

What I love most about getting acupuncture is that it offers me an opportunity to connect with myself and how I’m feeling, and to be held by the presence of my practitioner, to find space to honor my heart. The more I know my heart, the more I can be honest with others and really connect. For me, that connection with myself and other people, is one of the most valuable links in the healing process.

 

If you want to hear more about this topic, I’m doing a lunchtime talk at Drexel University on Wednesday June 24th on the Fire Element called “Cultivating Contentment: How to Find More Joy and Struggle Less.” If you would like more information, please email me.

 

And, finally, gift certificates are here! You can now purchase a gift certificate for someone you love who needs a little space for healing and self-reflection. Acupuncture can be very helpful for managing stress, anxiety, and depression. Please contact me if you would like to buy a gift certificate for someone special in your life.  

 

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