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  • Writer's pictureMonica Fauble

Not Too Tight. Settle In Before Refining.

Updated: Oct 10, 2023

Premade desk and stool from

I do not identify as a spatial person or a technical mind. I can get lost in my own neighborhood, and I am not so great with anything mechanical or involving machines, drills, furniture assembly etc.

But when I recently bought the above table for my office, I knew that it would help me grow to be willing to at least attempt to screw the legs onto the base myself. (And I did it, not so hard as I thought.)

The last time I assembled a piece of furniture, it was actually the loveseat that sits beneath the window in my office waiting room. I went about it one leg at a time. That first leg went on super well. But because I tightened it so perfectly, it was all downhill from there.

The other legs of the bench didn’t have the space to nestle in and so I had to start completely over and remove that first leg.

This must be so common an occurrence that the directions that came with the table I recently ordered actually warned me in all caps NOT to tighten my table legs until all the legs were attached.

There is power in singularity. In picking a focus and sticking to it.

But we also have to consider how many table legs we’re juggling at one time.

Sometimes it makes sense to go about your goals one at a time, but most days we are balancing any number of things–food, hydration, sleep, rest, childcare, and so forth–so it makes sense to tighten each table leg just enough, so that the rest of your life can nestle in to its place, rather than going all the way.

I find that when I attend to one leg of my table (of myself) without overdoing it, there’s more energy to apply to other aspects of my life.

Have you been overdoing or overvaluing one aspect of your life to the detriment of the others?

There’s nothing wrong with tightening up your table legs and making sure they’re secure. But this usually has to be done when you have enough pieces in place so that you won’t ratchet something in at the cost of something else.

Balancing life’s demands is difficult. I know! I have a hard time too. But take today to pull back and look at the aspects of your life that form the pillars (the supports) of your table. Is there something you could loosen to make more space for something else? Are you at a point of refining, where your table is mostly stable so that you have the chance to begin dialing down into the alignment?

Be honest with yourself and then adjust as needed. I know it would be easier if I gave you a formula to follow but self-care (like life) is an adaptable and changeable process. Take a look at what you can loosen (or tighten) today to make your life a bit more stable and free.

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